I
was a Resident Assistant last year, at Helaman Halls. I ran full force into the
lives and dramas of about forty teenage women, and – though I adored all of
them, fiercely – quickly learned that I was vastly out of my league in terms of
training and counseling. Several of “my girls” lived with crippling anxiety,
several more had varying diagnoses of depression, some dealt with sexuality, personality,
or bodily dysphoria, a couple struggled with addictions, and still others fought
eating disorders. I was mostly able to sympathize with all of these girls and
their struggles, but I had no idea how to help those with eating disorders. I’d
had a basic, definition-based understanding of what eating disorders were; I’d
learned about their symptoms and consequences in grade school, and some red
flags were evident even within my own home. However, I had no idea where to
step in terms of conversation or application; I knew, especially with eating
disorders, that there were definite “Do Say This” and equally definite “Do NOT
Say That”, and I didn’t want to step on any landmines.
I
consistently turned to my manager and professors for help, and, of course,
always directed the girls to their counselors or doctors first and foremost. I
researched as much as I could about their respective disorders, but I still had
a hard time differentiating between what would be safe to talk about, and what
was dangerous.
My
goal with this exercise was, without any badge of “authority” or any other
reason for feeling removed, to wholly place myself in the shoes of these girls
and their lives. How did their disorders affect their day-to-day lives? What did
their interactions look like between them and their friends or family? How do
these reactions differ even amongst themselves? How much of how they behaved was
their personality speaking, and how much of it was their disorder…even in
pleasant or benign conversation?
Aesthetically,
I wanted this game to read as bluntly as a disorder is. According to my
research, most people currently living with an eating disorder either deny that
they have it, or have no idea that they have it in the first place. An eating
disorder is direct; there is no “indirect” or passive consequence. And so, the
thoughts of someone living with a disorder – specifically, someone who did not
know or, or denied this disorder – would be direct, aggressive,
straightforward. Going through the passages of the game and having to
constantly readdress the plaguing thoughts of eating and body appearance and
health is exhausting, and I wanted to incorporate that, too. Some of the
passages loop within each other, trapping the player in an endless, relentless,
and terrifying cycle of mental instability and panic.
A
third and final focus I put into this game was that I didn’t restrain myself to
only one eating disorder. The three biggies, as most people know, are Anorexia
Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Binge Eating Disorder, but there are plenty of
others. I deliberately linked the passages so that, no matter what hyperlink
the player chose, they ended up with some
eating disorder. Hopefully, the player emerges from the game with an
increased awareness and respect for those dealing with an eating disorder.
Citation:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/signs-of-eating-disorders
Game: Eat
(If that doesn't work, copy and paste either of these into a new Window)
file:///C:/Users/Maddy/Downloads/Eat.html
http://twinery.org/2/#stories/b5a9f7dc-75c3-33cd-5f70-c0741bfae699/play
*Trigger Warning/Content Warning
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