The Mask You Live In

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that BYU was hosting a screening of this documentary, and even more so that so many people showed up. The entire Varsity Theater in the Wilk was full -- I sat on the floor!

The documentary was...as expected. I'm thrilled about the progress of the dialogue about the harmful effects of masculinity, but I'm not satisfied just yet. As one subject in the film stated, it's wonderful that we're even talking about masculinity as anything other than the ideal, but we've still got a lot of work to do.

The sister film, Miss Representation, does a little more work than The Mask You Live In, I think. Perhaps that is because I am female...but then again, perhaps that bias is even more validating in my frustration. I walked out of the movie theater with a handful of peanut butter cookies (courtesy of the BYU Men's Studies Research dept.) and strut back to my apartment, where I spilled the good news to my roommates that the world is evolving, times are getting better, and people are finally getting it.

They didn't miss a beat; one sighed and walked away, while the other calmly explained to me that it is relatively pathetic that we need to be explaining to the men why these issues of gender affect them, too, in order for them to be interested. She also explained to me how it is also frustrating that we, women, are asked to give men any sympathy for the struggles they face (not being able to cry in public, etc.) when they, themselves, are the ultimate perpetrators. My shoulders slumped further and further as she continued to rant about how as much as men suffer for their own aggressiveness and idolizing hyper-masculinity, women will suffer tenfold by the same hands. The documentary touched on this, briefly, but still focuses on how sad it is that boys are emotionally stunted, rather than how many people end up victim to the charade of masculinity and the patriarchy.

Again, I am relieved that this conversation is happening. And, truly, I would say the film is successful if, for no other reason, because it sparks dialogue. But, as my roommate so clearly explained to me, this is frustrating. We need so much more than an acceptance of men's emotions; we need equal pay, we need to end rape culture, we need to rearrange sex education in schools, we need to do a lot of things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc45-ptHMxo